CROWFEATHER SPEAKS: A forbidden love
Have you ever loved another cat so much it made your heart ache and your fur tremble?
Feathertail understood me, and she listened to me. Her eyes were the clear blue of her river home. She died saving us all from Sharptooth. After that, I wanted only to serve my Clan to the limits of my strength, and the join Feathertail in StarClan.
But then I met Leafpaw. She was patient and kind. Her voice was like water flowing over pebbles, and her scent had hints of wildflowers in it.
What was happening to me? How could I fall in love with anyone-let alone a ThunderClan cat-let alone a ThunderClan medicine cat? I know the warrior code! I've always been a loyal WindClan cat. I knew that if I let myself fall for her, it would endanger my Clan. If my loyalties were divided, how could I be a true warrior? How could I defend WindClan against a ThunderClan attack, knowing I might hurt someone Leafpaw loves?
And medicine cats are especially forbidden to fall in love. She cannot be thinking of me instead of her Clanmates-they depend on her to much. And StarClan might have trouble reaching her if her thoughts were all wound up in me. I knew they would be very angry with us. I wish I could fall in love with a WindClan she-cat-I wished I could feel this way without breaking the warrior code. But there is no WindClan cat like Leafpaw.
I thought that when we reached the lake and went our separate ways I'd be able to forget her. But first she came to our camp to bring watermint to our sick cats, Morningflower and Darkfoot. And the way I felt when I saw her-it made me angry to realize how little I could control my feelings. Onewhisker asked me to escort her home. I went as fast as I could; if I spoke to her, my secret might come spilling out. As I left her camp, Leafpaw thanked me in this sweet, natural way, as if I hadn't been behaving like a badger with its fur clawed off. I had to get out of there before every cat could see what I was trying so hard to fight.
After Leafpaw found the Moonpool, she brought me a message from Feathertail. She said I should stop grieving and open my eyes to the living. What did that mean? Could Feathertail approve of my love for Leafpaw? Wasn't she angry?
It was raining the night everything changed. Onewhisker was planning to travel to the Moonpool to receive his nine lives. I'd noticed Mudclaw's whispers and looks, but I never thought he'd try something so reckless as attack Onewhisker-and bring other Clans to help him too!
As the battle was breaking up, Brambleclaw sent me chasing after two ShadowClan cats who had made a run for it. We tore across the moors and into ThunderClan woods. Branches whipped at my face, and rain sliced through my fur, but I ran on, but I was determined to catch the traitors who had done wrong to my Clan.
I heard yowling ahead of me, and I crashed through some bushes, and there she was. The two ShadowClan warriors had fallen to their deaths, but Leafpaw was clinging desperately to the edge of a cliff, her claws scrambling on the slick, wet rock. Her wild amber eyes met mine, and she called for help. I was frozen. . . . All I could think of was how I failed Feathertail, and how she had died because I couldn't save her.
But I saved Leafpaw. She brought me back. She helped me shake off the memories as I reached out and pulled her to safety. We lay there on the ground, gasping for breath, and I knew in that moment I couldn't fight my feelings anymore. I loved Leafpaw, and I told her so.
From the look in her eyes, I knew she felt the same way. She said everything I'd been feeling-that this couldn't happen, that she was a medicine cat. But I could see her heart blazing in the depths of her eyes. I could see how much she cared for me too. I'd seen the same look in Feathertail's eyes . . . . but this was different. There was a feeling of lightning pricking among my fur every time I looked at Leafpaw. And now I knew she felt it too.
I decided at that moment we would find a way to be together. The future was terrifying, but we would face it together . . . our pelts brushing, our tails twined. Our hearts in love, forever.
Feathertail understood me, and she listened to me. Her eyes were the clear blue of her river home. She died saving us all from Sharptooth. After that, I wanted only to serve my Clan to the limits of my strength, and the join Feathertail in StarClan.
But then I met Leafpaw. She was patient and kind. Her voice was like water flowing over pebbles, and her scent had hints of wildflowers in it.
What was happening to me? How could I fall in love with anyone-let alone a ThunderClan cat-let alone a ThunderClan medicine cat? I know the warrior code! I've always been a loyal WindClan cat. I knew that if I let myself fall for her, it would endanger my Clan. If my loyalties were divided, how could I be a true warrior? How could I defend WindClan against a ThunderClan attack, knowing I might hurt someone Leafpaw loves?
And medicine cats are especially forbidden to fall in love. She cannot be thinking of me instead of her Clanmates-they depend on her to much. And StarClan might have trouble reaching her if her thoughts were all wound up in me. I knew they would be very angry with us. I wish I could fall in love with a WindClan she-cat-I wished I could feel this way without breaking the warrior code. But there is no WindClan cat like Leafpaw.
I thought that when we reached the lake and went our separate ways I'd be able to forget her. But first she came to our camp to bring watermint to our sick cats, Morningflower and Darkfoot. And the way I felt when I saw her-it made me angry to realize how little I could control my feelings. Onewhisker asked me to escort her home. I went as fast as I could; if I spoke to her, my secret might come spilling out. As I left her camp, Leafpaw thanked me in this sweet, natural way, as if I hadn't been behaving like a badger with its fur clawed off. I had to get out of there before every cat could see what I was trying so hard to fight.
After Leafpaw found the Moonpool, she brought me a message from Feathertail. She said I should stop grieving and open my eyes to the living. What did that mean? Could Feathertail approve of my love for Leafpaw? Wasn't she angry?
It was raining the night everything changed. Onewhisker was planning to travel to the Moonpool to receive his nine lives. I'd noticed Mudclaw's whispers and looks, but I never thought he'd try something so reckless as attack Onewhisker-and bring other Clans to help him too!
As the battle was breaking up, Brambleclaw sent me chasing after two ShadowClan cats who had made a run for it. We tore across the moors and into ThunderClan woods. Branches whipped at my face, and rain sliced through my fur, but I ran on, but I was determined to catch the traitors who had done wrong to my Clan.
I heard yowling ahead of me, and I crashed through some bushes, and there she was. The two ShadowClan warriors had fallen to their deaths, but Leafpaw was clinging desperately to the edge of a cliff, her claws scrambling on the slick, wet rock. Her wild amber eyes met mine, and she called for help. I was frozen. . . . All I could think of was how I failed Feathertail, and how she had died because I couldn't save her.
But I saved Leafpaw. She brought me back. She helped me shake off the memories as I reached out and pulled her to safety. We lay there on the ground, gasping for breath, and I knew in that moment I couldn't fight my feelings anymore. I loved Leafpaw, and I told her so.
From the look in her eyes, I knew she felt the same way. She said everything I'd been feeling-that this couldn't happen, that she was a medicine cat. But I could see her heart blazing in the depths of her eyes. I could see how much she cared for me too. I'd seen the same look in Feathertail's eyes . . . . but this was different. There was a feeling of lightning pricking among my fur every time I looked at Leafpaw. And now I knew she felt it too.
I decided at that moment we would find a way to be together. The future was terrifying, but we would face it together . . . our pelts brushing, our tails twined. Our hearts in love, forever.